Some Jokes

I bought a Lao joke book yesterday. Most were terrible, but some were actually funny and some were "wtf" funny. Here are a few:

The park manager noticed that no matter how many ‘Keep off the grass’ signs they put up, people still ignored them. Finally he decided to put up new signs which proved very effective. The new signs said “the grassland has unexploded bombs.”

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“Quick, bring the hammer. There’s a fly on baby’s head!”

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A lady ant proposed marriage to an elephant.
“Marriage!” scoffed the tusker, “don’t be silly! How can I marry you?”
The lady ant pleaded with him but to no avail. Then she asked him to bend down so that she could whisper her secret in his ear to persuade him to accept her proposal. The elephant knelt down to hear what she had to say. She whispered, “The reason why I want you to marry me now is that the child I am carrying in my womb is yours.”

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In a restaurant…
“Waiter! There are flies on my steak.”
“Yes, I know. It’s the rotting meat that attracts them, sir.”