Lesson Learned From Lao New Years

note: I started writing this several months ago

I have a column half-written about how much I hate Lao New Years (pi mai lao or Songkran in Thailand) but I’m too happy today to finish it, mostly because I got plenty of sleep last night, it’s sunny, and the streets aren’t filled with assholes waiting to douse me with filthy water as soon as I turn my back. So culturally what can we learn from the whole ordeal?

I think one reason people like the holiday so much is that, as one Lao friend put it, “everyone’s head is on the same level.” Before I get to anything else, I need to explain about Lao culture’s inane obsession with head placement. Despite being a communist country (at least officially), Lao culture is extremely hierarchical. Status depends on age, gender, profession, and whether a person is a monk (monkness?). Except for brief moments, your head should not be higher than someone of greater status and Lao people put a lot of effort into ensuring this. For example, if you are standing and a maid or child has to cross in front of you, they will bow at the waist to ensure their head is noticeably below yours. I find the whole thing embarrassing and mildly distasteful, sort of a body language equivalent of being called “master.” As a foreigner, you won’t usually have to pay attention to these head placement conventions, but as a general rule you shouldn’t be standing when the people you’re talking to are sitting.

Getting back to my original point, the pi mai holiday allows for a suspension of normal social rules. It’s perfectly ok to show mild disrespect to authority figures like monks, teachers, and generals (well, maybe not generals). In western culture, it’s not unusual to go drinking with your boss, but asians seem to find this same sort of familiarity liberating.

Watching pi mai, it becomes immediately apparent why we lost the Vietnam war. The Lao people are probably the friendliest and most generous I’ve ever met, but anyone who’s lived here knows they’re not especially motivated, creative, or disciplined. But when the new year rolls around, they start plotting elaborate ambushes and are able to hurl water balloons through the windows of moving cars. It’s nerf guerilla warfare ant there’s no reason to think the real thing was much different.